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Friday, December 04, 2009

Lines Drawn

We went to ER the other day, so they could fix my PICC line, which had a tiny crack in it. Once it gets 'compromised', you are at risk of infection, which doesn't sound like too much fun to me. We waited in ER for close to 7 hours, waiting, waiting, waiting (I read ALOT) until finally we were able to see a physician. Ironically, it was the same physician who I saw in the summer when I had a really really high fever, the night I lost my memory. It was like a kick in the gut of recognition seeing him, but also I realized that this doctor would be just as unhelpful now and then. And, if you can believe it, his knowledge of Lyme disease had not increased over the year and a half since I'd discussed it with him. He told us, after all that waiting, that they simply could remove the line, but couldn't put another one in, because no physician would take responsibility for it. But I can't blame them; putting in a PICC line for a Lyme patient would be like waving the Red Flag in front of the giant, charging IDSA bull. For all the discomfort involved in putting IN the line, it didn't hurt at all to get it pulled. Well, no complaints about less pain!

Unfortunately, that means that we have to get the line put back in, in order for me to start my IV treatment again. Unfortunately, that means going to California to get it put in, the closest doctor to do that kind of work for a Lyme patient. Doubly unfortunately, I think I am going to have a 'PORT' put in. The world alone makes my stomach tighten and my heart quicken at the thought. If you don't know what a port is, I will try and describe it to you, although I probably won't do it justice *rolls eyes*. It is a small "bubble" (well I think it kinda looks like a drum, or a push-button, but thats just semantics) inserted UNDER the skin, usually on the right side, under the collar bone. And then a line is fed into the vein. Basically. It is a little minor surgery, which all and all doesn't sound too bad. The part that I find unappealing is the part that involves puncturing the "bubble" with a needle (gulp) and injecting the 'stuff' into you. This is the little snag. You see, just thinking and typing words like 'puncture' and 'needles' or ever 'stuff' makes me woozy. My head gets hots, and I feel a small trembling in my arms and legs, and I feel faint. So you can feel why the idea of a port, scares me. Yup, totally terrified of the idea. Yuck. Yick. Yeulch. So we'll wait and see. We're going to California next week to do 'this'. So wish me luck.


  1. You, my darling bold and wise and brave cousin, will be just fine. I know you will. I love you so much. I'm holding your hand from a distance. xoxoxo

  2. ok that sucks, but look on the bright side. you'll be in warm California while we're freezing our butts off in the snow, you can drive around the bay area being like "hey i know that place, and that one, and oh look my favorite..." you can see old friends down there and best of all BE WARM!!! i know how much u love the snow *wink wink* NOT!

    well i'll see u when u get back, as least u won't be gone long. stay strong Nicole!

    lots of love, Lisa