Wow. I've had over a 101 things to say about this. Its sort of daunting thinking about all those free-written words that I don't remember. Its strange: I had things so say...I said them, but I have no idea what I said. It is a twisted feeling. I recognize my style and word choice, yet its like someones play a trick on me, taking my words and warping them into phrases and prose.
And its no where near the beginning of April.
My mind wanders today. A butterfly, my thoughts jump from flower to prickly shrubs, to Dogwood blossoms, and Venus Flytraps. Each thought zaps me with a painful pinch as I consider the past. I try not to. I must remember that now is the time that is worth the time. I must dedicate now to the rest of my life.
Why isn't anything easy?
I met with Elaine and my teacher, Sally, at SIDES (a distance education program!). I also read my Lyme speech to my teacher which was fun!! We also sort of put together an IEP for me (individualized education program), which will help the other teachers help me by knowing what I need. Of course having no memory is a little snag I've been trying to get over, but I will share with you now my secret.
I've spent nearly all of my life in school, so don't think that I am going to miss the end of it now. So close to the finish line, do you quit? No! You put on an extra burst of speed and cross the line. I am going to graduate....I only need a few more courses. I will graduate, and then, proud as punch, walk across the stage to receive my diploma. This is "THE PLAN". A dream, really, but does it matter?
I met an incredible girl, Sara Marie, who is like my 'Lyme Twin'. Seriously, its creeping me out. We have almost identical symptoms, and of course she understand completely about the complex issues that, quite frankly, no matter your education or 'case studies', you cannot conceive. The truth is in our pain, and it is very bonding! I'm so lucky to know her. Hopefully we will get better together. Under my 'links' section, there is a link to her blog. Please check it out! Spread the Word. Pass it ON!
Nicole.
ReplyDeleteYou are an AMAZING writer. I hope to be as good as you someday! Your goal is amazing and I bet you can do it!!! Youre amazing!!! Youre incredible also. I agree it is very bonding. I cant wait to come see you!
-Sara
Hi Nicole. I just found out today about what has happened to you today from my mother (your Mom's Aunt Shirley and Uncle Jack). I'm so sorry to hear about this news. Thanks for writing and sharing the blog. I'll keep an eye out for the W5 show. I'll keep checking in to see how you are doing. I hope you start to feel better soon. I'm sure you are doing lots of research...I found the attached which I thought was very interesting so thought I'd share http://www.cindeegardner.com/boom11.htm. Lots of love, across the miles, Bonni Dennison (nee Boorman)
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